I've created & kept this blog to compile the thoughts, dreams and wisdom that I've discovered from others or merely written myself. This blog is, in a sense, an expression of everything that is me.. Whether I wrote it or not. The most recent entries are a series of quotes, lyrics and videos.. But travel back through the archives and you'll delve deep into my heart, through my own words.

To those who I've quoted or borrowed from: Thank you for being beautiful.. for deeply inspiring me in one way or another. I hope you find that I've used your material in an appropriate fashion.. I try always to cite my sources. I take NO credit for that which is not my own.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Does anyone read this thing? If no one is, that's fine, because I'm writing for me.. But I'm curious to know, regardless.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Combating Insomnia...

We will call it insomnia for the time being,
because, by any other description, it would hardly make any sense at all.

It's 4:42 in the morning.
I've been lying awake with the off-set balance of my dreams and reality weighing heavily on my mind.
Frustration. Hope. Ideas. Realizations. More frustration.

Another "plan" won't be becoming my next step in life...
Though, for once, the reason is merely due to a CHANGE in plans.
Rhode Island. New England. Family. Friends.
Cali can come in time. Right now, I need this more than ever.

I have debt to settle.. Transcripts to fix.. Classes to register for.. Money that needs to be made.. "See ya later!"'s to be said.. Loose ends to tie up.. Belongings to be packed.. Transportation issues to be solved..

Pandomonium. Chaos. Hectic mindsets. Constant scatterbrain activity. Panic.

As if reality weren't pressing enough...

I have so many unanswered questions still bouncing around inside of my head. So many issues that were never settled. So many people I can't figure out, or just leave in the past. Many colors, many shades, many levels of pain, confusion, unsettling and wondering.

Simply a few people I would love to open up to:

I will always be in love with you.. But I have to move on. I can't continue to sit & wait, or to play these games anymore.
You'll never realize how great my dislike for you has become. Keep trying to sabotage my happiness. Fake bitches never win.
You led me on, lied to me, cost me money that I could definitely use right now... & for what, really?? You gained nothing...
"Just friends" was fine when you were hurting, but couldn't be enough when I needed it to be that way.. Instead, you ditch and start rumors.
Hey nose-biter.. Your ex never knew about me, so why am I almost wishing that she had? Am I feeling that forgotten in the scheme of things?
You are a funny, wonderful person.. and it kills me that everyone forgets about me when you come around. I hate being the "sidekick".
You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend, but swore it was ending with her.. 2 months ago when we last talked. What?!
I really love you, girl.. That's why I'm always there. So return the favor. We all have problems we want to talk about, too.
NC would have been nice. I'm just saying.

Anonymous dedicated venting sessions. Epic. Could be endless. I had to stop.
One day... One day, I'll know the answers. That, or I'll forget to care.
If only indifference and ignorance came free.

Nash called me out on being a romantic.
That is the cause to most of my problems.
I can't leave things well enough alone.

"And THERE's your sign."

Thank you, blue-collar comedy. Oh, Jeff Foxworthy.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Strictly Quotes.

There's something about death that is comforting. The thought that you could die tomorrow frees you to appreciate your life now.
Angelina Jolie

I like someone who is a little crazy but coming from a good place. I think scars are sexy because it means you made a mistake that led to a mess.
Angelina Jolie

I'm anal retentive. I'm a workaholic. I have insomnia. And I'm a control freak. That's why I'm not married. Who could stand me?

I view my job as being someone who is supposed to piss people off. I don't want to be just one-of-the-guys. I don't want to be just a smiling face you see on television presenting some vapid kind of easily- digestible garbage. This is rock and roll. I want to be a rock and roll star! Rock and roll is about shaking things up, making people act and react. That's what I do.
Marilyn Manson

Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up."

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves and then we have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.

You can be true to the character all you want but you've got to go home with yourself.
Julia Roberts

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.
George Burns

Don't wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don't. In face of what we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that make us hold it together.
Grey's Anatomy

I am a thing of beauty.
Frank Sinatra

The moment you start analyzing your own rock is the moment your rock is dead. That's why rock is now pretty much dead. Too much analyzation. No rockalyzation!
Jack Black

Sunday, July 6, 2008


"Jump in headfirst, who cares if it hurts?"

I am a nerd when it comes to writing.
On the flip-side, I'm anti-school, and pro-procrastination.
Believe me... The two go hand-in-hand better than peanut butter & jelly on bread.
That's saying A LOT.

I put off a 2,000+ word research paper until the day it is due.
Currently, I am hardly 1,000 words deep, and I have less than 1.5 hours to finish,
before I miss the submission deadline.

Am I stressing?


I'm clearly insane, right?
I'm a slacker; I must not care if I don't make it, correct?


I get on tangents.
When I get rambling, I get excited.
The only thing standing in my way is the jumble of thoughts in my head,
and the uncertainty of what to put where, and what to replace with which words.

Needless to say, my mind is racing.
I thought of a billion fantastic things to write for my research paper,
and i'm bursting at the thought of how fabulous it all will tie in...

I just seem to be having trouble focusing on it.
Blogs, comments, emails, music, lyrics...
ADD is getting the best of me right now.

Yet I'm still gaining my composure.
I've never really been one to TRULY stress over school..
Not in anything except for tests, that is.

I'm sitting at my desk, stoked on a research paper about cloning.
What kind of freak am I, really!?

Please don't answer that.


"It's how disaster makes me smile. The thought strikes as nice once in a while. One more connection cut off by affection. One tank short on gas, one bullet built to crash. These broken lungs have little air left, if some. The cause and effect is as simple as a car wreck."

Friday, July 4, 2008


One year ago, on July 1st, we lost a brave soldier in Baghdad...
He was 20 years old, in a foreign country, representing and protecting the rights and freedom of all of us here in the United States.

Anyone who grew up with or knew Jonathan was indeed privileged...
It is with the highest honor and respect that we remember people like Jon this week, and especially on this day... A day when we celebrate our freedom.

Without brave people like Jon, who have fought for our rights and freedom for hundreds of years, we wouldn't be here today lighting fireworks, grilling by poolside, or drinking beers with our closest friends.... We wouldn't be celebrating freedom, liberty and justice. We wouldn't know the meaning of "independence".

So everyone, on this great day, when you are 'cheers!'ing your friends, soaking up the sun, and watching beautiful fireworks displays, PLEASE take a moment to truly know and appreciate the reason we are able to do all of it. Remember your soldiers, who are overseas serving and defending this great nation. Remember the lives of those we have lost in duty. Let this day be not just a celebration of our freedom, but also, a celebration of the wonderful men and women who work to keep that freedom for us, day in and out.

Happy Fourth of July. <3

RIP Jonathan Michael Rossi (07/01/2007)

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


"Why did you not show up?
I waited for an hour and finally gave up
I thought once that I saw you, I thought that you saw me
I guess we'll never meet now
It wasn't meant to be
I was sure that you saw me, but it wasn't meant to be."

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

"You have a way of coming easily to me,

& when you take, you take the very best of me.."
-taylor swift-

This post needs no explanation.
I just have too many things going on in my head.

I'm so glad I have one of my best friends back...
I'm glad I got to spend the weekend with people who have become family to me...
God works in mysterious ways, sometimes.

I'm still trying to figure out so many of the things thrown at me.