I've created & kept this blog to compile the thoughts, dreams and wisdom that I've discovered from others or merely written myself. This blog is, in a sense, an expression of everything that is me.. Whether I wrote it or not. The most recent entries are a series of quotes, lyrics and videos.. But travel back through the archives and you'll delve deep into my heart, through my own words.

To those who I've quoted or borrowed from: Thank you for being beautiful.. for deeply inspiring me in one way or another. I hope you find that I've used your material in an appropriate fashion.. I try always to cite my sources. I take NO credit for that which is not my own.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

I could make you feel like the [king] of the world but I won't
Cause you're full of imperfections.
-forever the sickest kids-

"So I'll build you a song, and I know you're gonna love it
'cause I'm putting in all the pieces that you said you wanted in it,
and I'm writing it here in my room in just my underwear and an orange t-shirt
'cause I know that you'd think that was hot."
-amber rubarth-

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I took advantage of myself and felt fine
but it was worth the night.
-the used-

Time takes its toll on us
(this changes everything).
I'd be a liar if I denied you at all.
-circa survive-

A stranger's just someone that you've forgotten.
How will we know if we've met before or done this dance,
Mystery man?
-circa survive-

And all of the time you thought i was sad,
i was trying to remember your name.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

OLD part 2


I don't know you at all anymore these days.
Honestly, it scares me to death.
You were the only thing I thought I actually DID know.

Now I'm alone again.

I started writing you letters... tons of them.
I ripped each of them up after the first few lines.

Word play can't fix the past or compete with reality.
I wish I could understand that.

On paper, I'm able to express myself clearly.
I can write about anything, and dress it up with fashionable words and catchy phrases..
It makes what I feel seem sophisticated and chic.
Better than it is, or than I'd like it to be.
A touch of flare, perhaps..
Extravagant word usage to play up the boring, idle thoughts of an eighteen-year old who thinks far too much for her own good.

Though, on sudden thought, I don't know why anyone would want to read through incessant ramblings from an opinionated mess of a hopeless romantic.. & then, actually enjoy what they read..

That would make them crazy, too, you know.

I used to write you letters filled with talks of the future..
of cheery lyrics and bold professions of love..
of silly girlfriend chatter, pointless, but nonetheless fun to read.

Now I write about tears and guilt and absolute misery.

Oh, how the times have changed...
This warped new take on things has taken the best of me.

The only way I ever felt that I could truly touch your heart so deeply was through my letters.
It's uplifting to pour out my feelings and desires onto an empty piece of paper, a blank canvas, and turn emotions into a dynamite masterpiece...
A letter, true, but a testimony even more so.
A confession.. Or many, at that.

OLD part 1


I used to hate myself because I felt like a failure.

I felt ugly...

Then I met you, and even though I still doubted many things, I learned how to love myself.

I felt beautiful...
& so complete.

I took the best thing I ever had for granted...
and after all was said and done,
I felt the consequences.

I never thought I'd lose you.. Not ever.
Then I did... So I guess I wasn't thinking too clearly.

When I lost you, my world crumbled.

& ALL over again,
I felt ugly...
I felt worthless...
& God, I felt incomplete.

For the first time in my life, though,
I learned how to believe in myself.

It took you NOT believing to show me that I could.
Thank you for opening my eyes.