I've created & kept this blog to compile the thoughts, dreams and wisdom that I've discovered from others or merely written myself. This blog is, in a sense, an expression of everything that is me.. Whether I wrote it or not. The most recent entries are a series of quotes, lyrics and videos.. But travel back through the archives and you'll delve deep into my heart, through my own words.

To those who I've quoted or borrowed from: Thank you for being beautiful.. for deeply inspiring me in one way or another. I hope you find that I've used your material in an appropriate fashion.. I try always to cite my sources. I take NO credit for that which is not my own.

Sunday, June 22, 2008


"I will not be the first one to speak, and if he never calls me again,
i'll always think of him fondly... as an asshole."
(Sex in the City)

It's hard to "hold out" and try to "play the game" back, when you aren't even sure if there IS anything to be holding out for, or if there are any games being played.

Not communicating ANYTHING is an absolutely unfair, immature and cowardice way to deal with things. It isn't even "dealing" with anything at all... It's running away from it. Avoiding it.

Grow up.

This is the point in time where I stop over-looking and making excuses for the other party. Where I stop giving out the "benefit of the doubt", and quit trying to hold out the tiniest glimmer of hope. Where I uncross my fingers and actually force myself to realize and accept that, no matter how hard I would like to believe there is the slightest chance something is still there, in all actuality, there isn't anything at all. Because if there was, I'd have been communicated with.. or confronted.. or at least given the "peace out" before disappearing.

Conversating about it with someone they claimed to "dislike",
while continuing to keep me in the dark?

I'm not bitter. I don't hold grudges. I don't need constant reassurance, and I'd be fine not speaking for weeks on end... IF I was told upfront to expect it. Or told SOMETHING. Anything. Call me crazy. Call me old-fashioned. I call it reasonable and courteous.

I AM extremely disgusted with the manner in which this situation has (or hasn't) been dealt with, and I'm greatly disappointed to find out that, once again, I've given someone too much credit and tried to see them for so much better a person than they really are. I have lost a ton of respect for this person, because while they never claimed to "always be there", they made it a point to assure me that they would be honest. Broken trust = NO respect.

I've chased people before. I refuse to chase anyone, because I'm too good to be doing that. If someone truly is worth my time, they can come to me. As much as I'd like to tell people how horrible they really are, and as much as I'd like to call them out on being jerks, scumbags, douchebags, etc... I'd rather them have silence from my end instead.

Too bad, really..
I'm still so confused.

People don't do what you did, say what you said, act the way you acted... all to disappear.

Who are you?

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