Honestly...

"I wish I knew then he was only lying."
-johncrook-

I can preach about forgiveness all day long, and how rejuvenating and purifying a feeling it is to forgive someone who has truly wronged you...

... thing is, despite it all, I'm still, like you, human. I still have my moments where I wrongfully take joy at the expense of other peoples happiness. Where I celebrate watching other people in misery. Where hearing someone else cry makes me feel good inside... Not the slightest bit of remorse, sympathy or guilt.

Call me the devil... I enjoy seeing karma take its toll on the deserving.

I'm not condoning this behavior at all... Though I know everyone has their moments. Perhaps it is all of the bitterness that has built up inside of me, that turns me into someone so cruel... Though most people don't see me as anything but a doormat. The nice girl, the clingy type. Easily attached; always hurt; too guarded, but most of the time too naive. So maybe it's okay to be something that no one expects now and then.

I love when people who should stay in the past come back, and make you wish they had never existed in the first place. Talk about an easy way to forget someone!

Even more... I love when someone who has wronged you terribly has the nerve to come back and wish you well. No apologies, no mature "I was wrong" excuses, nothing. Just a "well wish" from someone who put you through stress, misery, agony, anything.

I love the way I can fake a smile and say, "Thanks. You too..", while inside, I'm thinking of all the ways that I hope karma beats the crap out of them... & silently hoping it happens soon after.

Ahhhhh.

This reads like a bitter entry, but in all actuality, I'm sitting here with a grin on my face.

See?? I can be deceiving, too.