I've created & kept this blog to compile the thoughts, dreams and wisdom that I've discovered from others or merely written myself. This blog is, in a sense, an expression of everything that is me.. Whether I wrote it or not. The most recent entries are a series of quotes, lyrics and videos.. But travel back through the archives and you'll delve deep into my heart, through my own words.

To those who I've quoted or borrowed from: Thank you for being beautiful.. for deeply inspiring me in one way or another. I hope you find that I've used your material in an appropriate fashion.. I try always to cite my sources. I take NO credit for that which is not my own.

Sunday, October 21, 2007


"She's inviting heartache, to come home cause she's starving for hope that maybe "baby" won't be pushed around."
(Jamestown Story)

Settling... We all do it. Whether it's for something that's "almost as good", doing it out of indecisiveness, or just to bring something to an end. We all settle. Sometimes, almost every single day. We settle for things when they aren't quite what we had in mind, but don't know what else to do. We settle for clothing or food when everyone else is waiting on us to make up our minds. We settle for people who we aren't crazy about when we're tired of being alone, and though those turn out to be incredible people who would be more than perfect for us, our "settling" usually winds up hurting and losing them.

"Settle down now."

I'm a silly girl. I'll admit it any day, and I'll definitely own up to the fact that I've made a large amount of mistakes in my life. I've made a great majority in the past two years, especially. I do this because I'm human. We make mistakes. And I've been fortunate enough to have been able to either come to terms with them, or let them be forgotten. Mistakes don't phase me. I know I'll be making MANY more throughout my life. It's just part of living and learning, you know?

That said... Settling can be a huge mistake.

Sometimes when people are hurting, they try to numb or mask the pain. There are many, many ways of "moving on." The best known are getting buried in work, drugs, drinking heavily, going after a new guy/girl, chainsmoking, keeping busy constantly, etc. All can be dangerous on so many different levels. Drugs/alcohol are addictive, and overdosing is an all too common trend. Getting caught up in a new relationship, or even just a hookup, can lead to so much pain for one or both individuals involved. Keeping busy (whether with work, friends or life in general) is a good option... But, like medicine, it's temporary. Sooner or later, it will wear off, and then everything will catch up and reality has to be dealt with.

After awhile, though, some people still would rather continue taking an edge off the pain. So they settle. They fall for scummy people, and take any attention (bad or good), even if they KNOW it's not real... But they'll take it, because they want to feel loved any way they can. It's painful. It's so damaging. But it's better than being alone. At least, we convince ourselves of it... No matter how far from the truth it really is. Honestly, we know when it's not going anywhere... When it's just a good time... When you're "just another name", or worse, "just another notch"... And as if it's not painful enough to know that ahead of time, we allow ourselves to become that name or notch anyway, just because we yearn to be loved, and hope for one time to be different than all the rest. Wishful thinking (and hoping!) is definitely deadly... In any dosage.

It's the same as being in a failing relationship... But not letting it fail completely. You never want to say goodbye... But as time goes on and things get worse, the situation becomes 10 times more painful for everyone involved. So really, "goodbye", (no matter how painful and hard to accept), is usually the best way to go. And going back into something that caused so much pain before?! Red flag!! NOT WISE! Believe me when I say that I know...

Don't ever settle, unless you're settling down.

We're smart. We're beautiful. We're strong. We deserve to love, to live, to smile and to be happy. Don't ever allow yourself to settle for anything less than that... For anything less than you deserve.

"Consider this, he was moving on while she was busy trying to pass the time between the previous and next nervous breakdown."

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