From time to time, I browse through old entries I've written... Whether they be in this blog, other blogs, saved documents, emails or pages in old notebooks. It gives me great pride to see how much I have matured and grown up.. To see how far I have come over the years. "I used to be a damsel in distress"... Now I'm independent and strong. I used to victimize myself in every situation, always blaming other people for wronging and hurting me... Now I see that I was just scared and naïve.
Truth be told, I'm happy to admit to my wrong-doings. We are all wrong, and we all do things (intentionally or not) to hurt people in our lives. Sure, I've had my heart trampled on... But I've also been responsible for crushing the hearts and spirits of other people as well. It goes both ways. I've been lied to, cheated on, used and let down... But, again, I'm guilty of each crime myself. I used to constantly look for sympathy and pity.. And now, I wouldn't dream of bringing those up in new relationships, because I finally understand that HEY! I've been a liar/cheater/misleader myself... Not something to be proud of, but not something I can deny, either. I've said it a million times, but it always rings true... I am human, and I mess up a heck of a lot. Who am I to blame other people for what I've gone through, when I've done the same things?!
Everything in life happens for reasons... Most things happen to teach us how to grow, mature, overcome and move on. I used to despise hearing that "everything will be okay", because in those moments, it's hard to see the positive side to anything at all. Now, reflecting back on old times, it makes me laugh to see how insignificant or minor those experiences really were. There are many that I've even forgotten all about! Life is a mysterious and wonderous thing...
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