I've created & kept this blog to compile the thoughts, dreams and wisdom that I've discovered from others or merely written myself. This blog is, in a sense, an expression of everything that is me.. Whether I wrote it or not. The most recent entries are a series of quotes, lyrics and videos.. But travel back through the archives and you'll delve deep into my heart, through my own words.

To those who I've quoted or borrowed from: Thank you for being beautiful.. for deeply inspiring me in one way or another. I hope you find that I've used your material in an appropriate fashion.. I try always to cite my sources. I take NO credit for that which is not my own.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

5.13

To the figment of my imagination, the shadow in the back of my mind, the flower that never truly blossomed:

I hate you. No, I'm not confusing my words or over-exaggerating. I honest-to-God absolutely loathe, detest and despise every inch of your being.

Oh.. I'm not bitter. Is that how I came off just now?! I'm so sorry to have misled you. I'm actually quite well.. Really well, at that. I'm just trying out this whole "honesty" act.. For now, at least.

So for now, while I have the courage and the words in mind, know that I wish you nothing but misery. I've tried to be a good, forgiving person, and I've tried to let bygones be bygones. I've tried to view things from your perspective, but I could only stand in your shoes for so long before the smell started getting to me.

As it stands, to this day, I've sworn up and down that I've been able to move past the mark you've left on my life, and I've said, "goodbye", only God knows how many times. For the life of me, I don't understand why that's not enough.

Take your precious "in-the-now" and retreat back under your rock, you despicable scumbag. I hope you're happy, and I hope you're given everything that I don't have.. (which really only leaves an STD, greed or a shotgun-wedding).

From: The idea that never transformed into anything glorious, beyond what you could allow.

3 comments:

Lorelle said...

I wish never to be at the end of your fury.

Is he even worth all the written creativity?

carissarose. said...

Haha.. I love you, Kels.

I wrote this over a year ago. I have tons of pieces that I don't do anything with.. that's usually what I publish! It's rare that I publish something new (other than quotes or lyrics).

To answer your question NOW--absolutely not! At the time, though, I felt that I needed to vent.

Lorelle said...

Aw well that I understand. Last week i was going through some old stuff and I found a bunch of stuff I wrote after my first real heartbreak...It's crazy to recollect how intense those past feelings were