I've created & kept this blog to compile the thoughts, dreams and wisdom that I've discovered from others or merely written myself. This blog is, in a sense, an expression of everything that is me.. Whether I wrote it or not. The most recent entries are a series of quotes, lyrics and videos.. But travel back through the archives and you'll delve deep into my heart, through my own words.

To those who I've quoted or borrowed from: Thank you for being beautiful.. for deeply inspiring me in one way or another. I hope you find that I've used your material in an appropriate fashion.. I try always to cite my sources. I take NO credit for that which is not my own.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Is everyone just full of b.s. these days, or do people really just change drastically overnight?? and if that's the case, then why am I so easy to believe things will actually be wonderful and real, when experience has taught me to know that doesn't happen?? and if that's NOT the case, then when did I become so gullible???

I'm having the hardest time trying to understand how people who are supposed to make you feel like you are happy so much wind up treating you worse than they would treat someone they despise. I'm having an even harder time trying to figure out why the people who said that they would NEVER put someone through that are the people who disappeared shortly after. I'm not understanding or coming to terms with the fact that the people who have made me feel like life is actually beautiful, like I deserve to be treated amazing constantly, are the same people who aren't even in my life today. And I'm REALLY not understanding why I continue to make the same mistakes and bad judgment in character over and over and over... when I've already learned my lesson.

I need a glimmer of hope. I need to know that things aren't going to be like this for much longer. I need to know that I CAN be treated well. And I need to know it soon.

When people have a bad enough effect on me to leave me crying or in pain, I lose more and more respect for them, and over time, I shut them further and further out of my life, emotionally. Believe me... it's better to be shut out of my life physically than to be someone I grow to hate but pretend to care for.


I’m not a princess
This ain’t a fairytale
I’m not the the one you sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To come around
-taylor swift-

She's an extraordinary girl,
In an ordinary world,
And she can't seem to get away
He lacks the courage in his mind,
Like a child left behind,
Like a pet left in the rain
She's all alone again,
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Some days he feels like dying,
She gets so sick of crying
She sees the mirror of herself,
An image she wants to sell,
To anyone willing to buy
He steals the image in her kiss,
From her heart's apocalypse,
From the one called whatsername
-green day-

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