All Talk?

I'm sick of telling stories about all of the things that "I was supposed to do", and about all of the places "I WAS supposed to go". I'm sick of hearing laughter and sarcastic replies whenever I speak of the plans that people don't even consider to be real. It's my fault, I know... I've always been one to talk and never follow through.

I want to follow through.

I'm going to do it... Just wait and see.

I want to prove everyone wrong for doubting me.
Mostly, I want to prove to myself that I'm capable of doing things.

I want a new beginning. I know that it's out there, somewhere... I want to find it NOW.

I'm ready for this.

I write in journals, blogs, notebooks... I write things that couldn't keep the interest of one single person for more than a couple of entries, if even that. I write for ME... But one day, I will write for others. I will get it out there. I will find out what people REALLY want to read. Maybe I'll help some people out.

"Someday."

There I go again... "Someday" isn't a goal. I don't set realistic enough goals, because I'm a dreamer. I view reality as cold & harsh, and I don't want to push my dreams on something that cruel, something that could shred and tear them apart like they were nothing more than drunken whores in hotel rooms. One-night stands. Tomorrow's regret.

My dreams deserve SO much more than that.
They ARE so much more than that.

I have this fear of failing... of watching everything I know to be good crash and burn, and being left with nothing. The only thing that keeps me on track anymore is my positivity.. My hopes.. My dreams. Knowing that there is so much more out there for me, waiting up ahead.

I want to get there...

I don't want to fail.

I won't fail.

EVER.