I've created & kept this blog to compile the thoughts, dreams and wisdom that I've discovered from others or merely written myself. This blog is, in a sense, an expression of everything that is me.. Whether I wrote it or not. The most recent entries are a series of quotes, lyrics and videos.. But travel back through the archives and you'll delve deep into my heart, through my own words.

To those who I've quoted or borrowed from: Thank you for being beautiful.. for deeply inspiring me in one way or another. I hope you find that I've used your material in an appropriate fashion.. I try always to cite my sources. I take NO credit for that which is not my own.

Sunday, February 24, 2008


"I just wanna be here now..."

I shouldn't be thinking about you..
but I'm 4 beers in and 3 shots deep,
and I can't help but drown in memories...
Memories, and the gripping reality that
I'll never know what happened between us.
I'll never know if anything was real.
& I'm sick of not having closure.
I'm sick of wondering what I was.
It kills me that, a year later, I'm still wondering why...


Such a vague, open question..
You have to be prepared for the answer.. Very prepared.
I'm sick of preparing for a letdown.
All the freaking time.

Where do I go from here?

The record needle has been stuck on this for far too long,
and I'm getting sick of listening to the same damn song.
So tired.. So sick.. So ready to not ever hear it again.

I don't ever want to feel like this again..
Make it stop.

Is this what drowning feels like?

I don't deserve to feel bitter.
I don't at all.
I always let myself get to this point.
& it's always as much my fault as theirs...
But I'm always bitter.
I'm a hypocrit.

I just want someone to prove me wrong.
Prove that I'm not so shitty.

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